Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
