don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
