im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
