If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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