yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I would fuck him just for his dog
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
