Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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