But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
That was before I lit my hair on fire
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
