And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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