They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
