I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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