She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
