WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
