How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
