Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
