There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
