You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
