Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
