Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
