so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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