Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
