is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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