I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
