i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
