Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
