suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
bring money and cleavage
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Randomize
