And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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