you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
