my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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