We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
