Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
