about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
