it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
