So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
