I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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