I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
