The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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