he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
