He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
