It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So much Jack, so little girl.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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