Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
