OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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