Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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