I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
