So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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