Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
