were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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