What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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