So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
