Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
