Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
