GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
