So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Two words: nipple clamps
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